STOP BULLYING !!!

TUGAS SOFTKILL

Nama   : Olivia Ronitasari

Kelas   : 4EA18

Npm    : 15211464

STOP BULLYING !!

Bullying is derived from the word Bully, which is a word that refers to the notion of the "threat" that a person against another person (who generally weaker or "low" of actors), which cause psychological disorders for the victim (victim called bully bully boy or girl ) in the form of stress (which appears in the form of physical or psychological disorders, or both; for example, difficulty eating, physical pain, fear, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and others). Moreover, Bully usually lasts for a long time (annual) so it may affect victims psychologically. Actually, besides feelings above, a Bully victims also feel angry and upset with what happened to them.

There is also a feeling angry, embarrassed and disappointed in herself for "letting" the incident they experienced. But they could not "resolve" it, including not dare to report the perpetrators in adults for fear of being labeled a coward, artisan ngadu, or even blame. With the emphasis that the bully is done by school-age children, it should be noted that one of the characteristics of school-age children is their egocentrism (everything is centered on him) is still dominant. So that when an incident happens to him, the child still think that it is because of him.

Definition of Bullying according sensitive (Characters Child Care) is the use of aggression with the intention of hurting another person either physically or mental.Bullying action can be physical, verbal, emotional and sexual. Here is an example of action that includes kategory bullying; both individual and group perpetrator intentionally harm or threaten the victim by means of:

- Set aside someone from the association,

- Spreading gossip, mebuat nickname that is mockery,

- Work on a person to embarrass him,

- Intimidate or threaten the victim,

- Physically hurt,

- Looting / coercion

Bullying is not the same as occasional conflict or contention ordinary common in children. Conflict is a normal child and make the child learn how to negotiate and agree with each other. Bullying refers to measures aimed at hurting and done repeatedly. The victims are usually children who are weaker than the perpetrator. According to Dan Olweus, author of Bullying at School, Bullying can be divided into two major parts:

1. Direct bullying: physical intimidation, verbal.

2. Indirect Bullying: social isolation.

Bullying was very painful for the victim. No one deserves to be bullied. Everyone has the right to be treated and valued appropriately and fairly. Bullying has a negative impact on the development of children's character, both for the victim and the perpetrator.

Here is an example of the impact of bullying to the victim:

- Depression

- Low self-esteem / self-conscious

- Shy and reclusive

- Decline in academic achievement

- Feeling socially isolated

- It occurred or even try to commit suicide

On the other hand, if left unchecked, bullies will learn that there is no risk whatsoever for them when they commit violence, aggression and threatening other children. When the adult actors that have a greater potential to be thugs or criminals and would bring problems in social interaction. Bullies will also feel that there will be no one dared oppose for fear of him.

Bully is divided into two forms, direct action such harm, threaten, or vilify others. While the shape is not directly incite, silence, or exclude others. Whatever the form of Bully by a child to other children, the goal is the same, namely to "suppress" the victim, and have the satisfaction of such treatment. Perpetrators satisfied look of fear, anxiety, and even hostility from his victim's eyes. Characteristics Bully victims are those who are not able to fight or defend himself from Bully action. Bully usually appear at school age.

Bully perpetrators have certain characteristics. Generally they are the children of the brave, not easily scared, and has certain basic motif. The main motive is usually found on the suspected offender Bully is their aggressiveness. In fact, there are other motives could also owned by the perpetrator Bully, ie low self-esteem and anxiety. Bully become a form of self-defense (defense mechanism) that is used by the perpetrator to mask feelings of inferiority and anxiety that. "The success of" actors do not act the bully may not continue into other forms of violence, even more dramatic.

There are interesting from the characteristics of the offender and the victim Bully. Bully victim may have characteristics that are not brave, have a sense of anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, all of which (individual or all at once) make the child become the victim Bully. Due to receive this treatment, the victim was probably once held a grudge over the treatment he experienced. Furthermore, it is quite possible, the victim Bully, Bully perpetrators on the other children he saw in accordance with its objectives, namely to get satisfaction and revenge.

Bullying actions can occur anywhere, especially places that are not supervised by a teacher or other adult. Perpetrators will use a quiet place to demonstrate the "power" over other kids, so the goal is reached. Around toilet school, school yard, where waiting public transportation, parking lots, even car pool can be the scene of Bullying.

The characteristics that must be considered include:

1. Reluctant to go to school

2. Often ill suddenly

3. Experiencing impairment

4. Goods owned by missing or damaged

5. Nightmare or even difficult to sleep

6. Sense of anger and hate the easier it overflows and increased

7. It is difficult to make friends with new friends

8. Has physical signs, such as bruises or cuts

If you find traits such as the above, steps should be performed parents include:

1. Talk with the child's parents who do bully your child

2. Reminds school about problems like this

3. Go up to a professional counselor to help to solve this problem

If the violence is still ongoing and there is no good response from school, think of other ways. One option, if possible, move your child's school. In extreme situations, it may be necessary to contact the police or ask for protection. However, the most important thing is to listen to complaints of children and keep open communication with them.

            Bullying should not be ignored considering the psychological and mental impact on children is enormous.

Here are some suggestions to know our children being bullied or not:

·         Know that a child who is being bullied will most likely be the first to tell colleagues and parents, and then the teacher. "Always know who your child's friends," said Robin D'Antona, founder of the International Association of Prevention of Bullying. By forging friendships with our children, so many "leaks" to be conveyed about him.

·          Check with your child on a regular basis whether she likes school. If a child says that he "hates" school, ask deeper to know the details of what makes hate school.

·         Privacy  ended when the safety of our children is threatened at school. Pay attention to what they do on the web, and check out his cell phone. If the child wants a diary, buy the book and recommend storing in places that if necessary, we can also access it without him knowing. "For example, under the mattress," said D'Antona.

·         Create a harmonious communication in our families. Keep children express freely his words and could be open to talk at any time. There are times when we have eye contact with him when berbiicara, there are times when children are also more comfortable telling us without any eye contact. "The journey we are talking during driving, for example, makes children free to express anything," added D'Antona.

Some things that can be observed in the case of bullying are:

a. Children become victims

Signs:

1. The emergence of complaints or changes in behavior or emotional child due to stress he faced because of bullying (children as victims).

2. Reports of a teacher or friend or babysitter about bullying that occurs in children.

b. Child as a Performer

Signs:

1. The child being aggressive, especially in those younger age, or smaller, or those who are powerless (animals, plants, toys).

2. The child does not show negative emotions in people older / bigger body / more powerful, but seen children actually have feelings of pleasure.

3. Occasional different children behave aggressively when with you.

4. Perform different aggressive action when not with you (known from reports of teachers, caregivers, or friends).

5. There are reports of teachers / caregivers / friends that the child aggressive action on those who are weaker or powerless (no. 1).

6. Children who had experienced bully bully might be the perpetrators.

Certain characters in children who usually become victims of bullying, for example:

• Difficult friends

• Shy

• Have a family who overprotect

• Of particular tribe

• Defects or other limitations

• Special Needs

• Arrogant, etc.

Bullying occurs when a person feels persecuted, frightened, intimidated, by the actions of someone either verbally, physically or mentally. He feared that the behavior will occur again, and he felt powerless to prevent it. (Andrew Mellor, antibullying network, univ. Of edinburgh, scotland)

Bullying happens if it meets the following elements:

1. The behavior that causes a person / student / teacher humiliated, intimidated, afraid, isolated

2. The behavior is performed repeatedly whether verbal, physical, and psychological, which raises powerless

3. The existence of superior and inferior actor

4. Conduct made a negative impact.

Forms and modes Bullying:

1. Physical (kicks, punches, jambakan, boxing, slap, throwing objects, spitting, pinching, damaging, membotaki, gang, stripped, excessive push ups, drying, washing toilets, run laps excessive / do not know the condition of the students, putting cigarettes, etc.).

2. Verbal (berating, taunting, labeling / ugly nickname, denounce, calling the name of her father, cursing, scolding, teasing, threatening, etc.).

3. Psychic (sexual harassment, slander, remove, isolate, silence, pout, insults, spreading rumors).

Solutions to Bullying Cases can be done to prevent and deal with bullying cases, among others:

Solutions for parents or guardians if their children become victims of intimidation (bullying) in schools. Some of these include:

1. Put Perception with wife / husband. It is important for spouses to one voice in addressing the problems faced by children in school. Because if not, the child will be confused, and it will increasingly depressed. Common perception may include several aspects, for example: whether the parents have to intervene, whether it is necessary to come to school, whether it is necessary to meet the parents of bullies, including whether it is necessary to report to the police.

2. Learn and Recognize Character Our Children. We need to realize, that one of the causes of bullying is because there are children who do have a character who is victimized. I have conveyed earlier, one of which is the attitude of "fast feel guilty", or timid, owned by my son. By recognizing the character of our children, we will be able to anticipate any potential intimidation that afflict our children, or at least more quickly find a solution (as we become better prepared mentally).

3. Establish Communications with Children. The goal is the child will feel comfortable enough (although of course there remains discomfort) told us as parents when subjected to bullying at school. This is the key to many things, including to monitor whether a case has been solved or not.

4. Do not Come Too Fast Mix. Ideally, the problem among children can be solved solely by them, including cases of bullying. Therefore, the first priority of fostering courage and confidence in our children (who are victims of bullying). If your child has certain drawbacks, particularly physical shortage, we need to instill a belief that it is a gift of God and not something shameful. Second, do not be too "consumed" by teasing friends, because law-tease dancer in the world is "the more we are affected teasing friends, the happy friend who teased it".

5. Go in Right Time. Do not forget, that often our own children (who are victims of bullying) is not pleased when we (parents) to intervene. The situation becomes paradoxical: Our children suffer because of intimidation, but he was afraid would suffer even more if parents intervene. Because the perpetrators of bullying will get a 'material' extras, which branded the victims as "child mami", cemen, etc. Therefore, we should really consider the exact moment when it decided to intervene to solve the problem. There are several indicators: (1) a particular case unresolved, (2) The same case happened repeatedly, (3) If the case is extortion, involve quite large sums of money, (4) There are indications that the learning achievement of children began to fail ,

6. Talk to the Right People. If it has been decided to intervene in resolving the problem, consider carefully whether to directly talk to the bully, parents, or teachers.

7. If Necessary, Intimidasilah Bully. Ideally it should not do that, but if it is necessary, I did not hesitate to do so. The message I want to convey is: (1) For my son, I want him to know that I am on his side, so he does not feel alone, (2) For the bully, I want him to know that if he did continue, he will face with me, (3) For the teacher / school, I want them to know that if schools / teachers can not solve the problem, then I will intervene finish, in my own way.

8. Do not Teach Children Running from problems. In some cases told my friends, children sometimes respond to bullying she experienced at school by asking to change schools. If followed, it is tantamount to running away from problems. So, as much as possible not to be obeyed. If there is a problem at school, it's a problem that must be resolved, not with the 'run' to another school. Do not forget, that cases of bullying that occurs in almost all schools.

9. Fruit dilemma? Eat One of Them. Sometimes we are faced with two situations are equally bad. As I said earlier cases: (1) the Son we become a victim, or (2) the Son we do not want to become victims and fight it with violence. I do not know how the "theory" of his, but when faced with two choices that are equally bad, I chose the latter, ie let my son fight, though by force.

10. Do not be Late in Emotion. Some say, "the emotion always lose". So, try as much as possible to not dissolve in emotion, either in the form of "cry for us" (the victim) and confront our children's friends or parents. All the steps we take to be restrained by common sense. Because if not, the problem could be widened to everywhere. And if the problem is already completed, or deemed complete, do not sank continue.

Handling can be done by the teacher:

1. Try to get clarity as to what happened. Point out that the incident was not his fault.

2. Help children cope with the discomfort he felt, explain what happened and why it happened. Make sure you explain in simple language and easy to understand children. NEVER BLAME CHILDREN on bullying that he experienced.

3. Enlist the help of a third party (a teacher or a professional expert) to help return children to normal conditions, if felt necessary. For that, open your eyes and your heart as a parent. Do not taboo to listen to the input of others.

4. Observe your child's behaviors and emotions, even when the incidence of bullying he experienced long gone (remember that usually hold a grudge and potential victims become perpetrators later time). Work with the school (teacher). Have them help and observe if there are changes in your child's emotional or physical. Beware distinct differences in the expression of aggression shown your child at home and at school (or no parent / teacher / caregiver).

5. Establish closeness with your child's friends. Pay attention to their story about your child. Beware of changes or unusual behavior.

6. Ask for help from a third party (a teacher or a professional expert) to deal with the perpetrators.

Prevention for children who are victims of bullying:

1. Provide the child with the ability to defend itself, especially when there are no adults / teachers / parents who are nearby. This is useful for self-defense the child in all situations threatening or dangerous, not only in the case of bullying. This self-defense may be physical and psychic.

·         Physical self defense: martial arts, swimming, good motor skills (cycling, running), excellent health.

·         Psychic self defense: self-confidence, daring, sensible, simple analytical ability, the ability to see the situation (simple), the ability to solve problems.

2. Provide the child with the ability to face a variety of unpleasant situations that might he experienced in his life. To that end, in addition to the ability to defend themselves psychically as described in no. 1a. So what is needed is the ability of children to tolerate a variety of events. Occasionally letting (but still accompanies) the child feel disappointment, will train her tolerance.

3. Although the children have been taught to defend themselves and given the ability to not become victims of violence, still let the child where he or she can report or seek help for acts of violence he experienced (not just bullying). Especially actions that he can not handle or action continues despite repeated attempts were made to no.

4. Encourage children have good social skills with peers or with older people. With many friends, are expected child is not selected to be victims of bullying because:

a. The possibility he himself friends with the perpetrator, without realizing that his friend bullies on the other.

b. Possibility of actors reluctantly chose the child as a victim because the child has a lot of friends who likely will defend the child.

c. Good socialization with older people, teacher or caregiver or other, will facilitate the child when he complained that he had experienced violence.

Handling for children who become perpetrators of Bullying:

1. Immediately encourage children to talk about what he did. Explain that the actions harming themselves and others. Seek help from their experts in order to issue handled properly and finished completely.

2. Find the cause of the child to do so. Causes a decisive handling. Children who become actors because of low self-esteem would be handled differently by the perpetrator caused by resentment because once the korban.Demikian also when the perpetrator caused by different aggressiveness.

3. Position yourself to help and not judge young children.

Another solution:

Blaming the Victim

The problem of bullying is a problem we all. Blaming the victim, is actually similar to the story of the farmer who found the grapes are ripe on the tree. But, the tree is very high. While, the farmer can not climb that tree. Then the farmer looking for bamboo to pick it. But, he did not find a long bamboo can reach the grapes. Not wits, the wine growers pelted with stones. But nothing is taxable. Finally, the farmer left him, muttering, "Hmmm, it definitely tastes sour grapes."

Blaming the victim, hence the need to be avoided. Because instead of solving problems, but shy away from the issue. Blaming the victim, is a manifestation of the inability (or unwillingness?) Someone in resolving problems.

From Problems to Root of the Problem

In addition to blaming the victim, other problems which impede the completion of bullying is glued to the problem, without realizing the root cause of the problem. In fact, knowing and addressing the roots of a problem, is a problem solving technique that is telling. Completion of a case without addressing the roots of the problem will be in vain. It is said that one day, someone reported to the Caliph for stealing. The reporter asked the caliph to impose penalties as severe as the thief. Caliph Umar bin Khattab know that the hand piece is a sanction for the thief. However, he did not punish him, after knowing that hunger and famine cause that person to steal. Finally the thief was released. Furthermore, as the caliph, he's trying to make a program that welfare of its people. As a result, theft and crime is no longer heard among people. Because, hunger and famine, which is at the root of the problem, has been completed.

Likewise, in the face of bullying cases. It is not enough to punish students who do. Therefore, many factors can be attributed as the root cause of the problem of bullying. For example, the education system that does not liberate, not conducive learning atmosphere, the scarcity of exemplary teachers and senior students, the negative influence of the mass media, families broken home, and many other factors.

No wonder, if many people found to solve the problem of bullying is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand. Because the root of the problem is not single; many and complex. However, although complicated, we need to find a way out. Allah Swt. in the Qur'an Surat Nature Nasyrah [94]: 5-6 asserts: "Surely there must be in trouble ease. And indeed in difficulty must be ease ".

Communication, Muara Solutions

Resolving cases of bullying can actually begins by building an open communication between teachers, parents and pupils. During this time, communication between them is often not run properly and effectively. Parents, for example, rarely give attention to their children, either at home or at school. They are, perhaps too busy with work, so it could not (or would not make themselves) to communicate with the child and the school. Meanwhile, at school, teachers tend to want to listen to students. Communication is built in only one direction. Not many teachers who positioned himself as a facilitator or partner to share with students. While students prefer to take their own path, and do not know to whom he should communicate.

The most ideal way to prevent bullying:

• Teach assertive abilities, the ability to express opinion or the opinion of others in a proper way. This includes the ability to say No to the pressures obtained from friends / bullies.

• Schools raise awareness of the existence of bullying behavior (not all children understand what exactly is bullying it) and that schools have anti-bullying policies and run.

• Breaking the cycle of conflict and supports the attitude of cooperation between members of the school community, not only the interaction among students at the same level but also on a different level.

How to prevent that children do not become bullies key element of anticipation discipline problems and bullying is a good relationship with the child. Good relationships will make the child open and believe that any problem that it faces will be overcome and that parents and teachers will always be ready to help. From this child then learns to solve problems in a proper way. It is closely related to the concept of the child. If the child has a good self-concept, in the sense know very well the advantages and disadvantages of himself, he would not be distracted by pressures from friends or bullies. Usually if a victim or potential victim ignored, bullies will not be approached again.

While the results of discussions Bullying in THE CENTER FOR THE Betterment OF EDUCATION, SAVE THE CHILDREN, Jakarta January 12, 2010, to help provide some solutions and recommendations to reduce bullying at school our children, namely:

Prevention of Bullying In Preventive:

1. Dissemination antibullying to students, teachers, parents, and the academic community in the   school.

2. Application of the rules at school that accommodates antibullying aspects.

3. Make antibullying rules agreed by students, teachers, schools and institutions all academic community education institution / school.

4. Enforcement / sanctions / discipline according to the agreement of school institutions and students, teachers and schools, as well as parents and conducted in accordance with the procedure of sanctioning.

5. Establish communication and interaction antarcivitas academic.

6. Request mone enter the national education curriculum in accordance with the stages of cognitive development of children / students to avoid learning Difficulties.

7. Education parenting so that parents have the right upbringing.

8. Urges mone enter curriculum of teacher education institutions that accommodate antibullying.

9. Charge the print media, electronic, movies, and the internet did not load bullying and urges the Indonesian Broadcasting Commission (KPI) to supervise the broadcast that incorporates elements of bullying.

10. The need for ease of access to the parents or the public, institutions, educational institution / school as a form of surveillance for the prevention and settlement of bullying or bullying complaint postal establishment.

Solution Has Occurred When Bullying:

1. Approach persuasive, personal, through friends (peer coaching).

2. Enforcement / sanctions / discipline according to the agreement of school institutions and students, teachers and schools, as well as parents and conducted in accordance with the procedures of sanctions, more emphasis on the enforcement of sanctions humanist and dedication to the community (student service).

3. Do the communication and interaction between the offender and the victim, as well as parents.

4. Expose media which give emphasis emergence of negative effects on acts of bullying so that a lesson learned for all parties to refrain from similar actions.

One example of bullying

Of course we still remember the case in STPDN / IPDN that until the casualties. And who knows how many hundreds and perhaps even thousands and millions of people who never taste education in STPDN / IPDN damaged due to mental and soul has been in bullying by his seniors and eventually they reward back doing the same thing as his senior brother, do Bullying. And it will continue to happen for generations and its educational institutions which incidentally is the official scorer.

Sumber

https://nsholihat.wordpress.com/tag/definisi-bullying/